Falling Up.

November 18, 2009 at 3:35 pm (Uncategorized)

I don’t think I’ve fallen and then cried since I was 6  years old. I had missed a step coming off the bus, and landed face first onto our school’s lovely concrete entrance way. There was blood,  there were tears, and there was a phone call home.

Needless to say, I survived.

I’ve gone a good 14 years now, pretty much tear-free and accident free, with the exception of a few broken toes added to my repertoire. My long running ability to stay on my own two feet was also pretty great in the fall, spring, and summer. However once winter comes I turn into sir (or miss in my case) falls-a-lot. I slide on ice, I slide down stairs, down driveways – the works. Always tear-free.

These instances are why my hugely embarrassing episode last night is unbelievably shocking to me.

After finishing a particularly agonizing night of babysitting (they were trying to kill each other via lightsabers, I swear) I drove to my boyfriend’s apartment to walk the pup. I’m walking, I’m texting (my biggest mistake), and I’m holding a giant thing of hot tea (stored in my newly bought reusable cup! thank youuuu outtakes!).

All of a sudden, I’m down. I’m lying face first on the stairs, my tea has taken flight, and my shin has been brutally assaulted by a step. Embarrassed and thankful no one is around, I “ow” myself up the stairs.

I finally make it into the apartment after three tries (the puppy likes to play a game I like to call Alcatraz – you open the door and he tries to escape..only he never has, ha ha! Alexis 1, Luka 0). As I limp into the kitchen, “ow”-ing my way to the freezer, I decide it’s a BRILLIANT idea to take a look at my shin and see the damage.

Lifting up my pantleg, I reveal a baseball-size bruise. Tears. Instantly.

Not only do bruises make me seriously queasy (pooling blood, vomit.) but the sight of the lump on my leg is making me want to dial 9-1-1.

Instead I call my Mom.

My Mom, who I am pretty sure knows all, assures me I’m not dying and that I really should stop sobbing (obviously I’m in hysterics…it friggin hurt!). We both diagnose me as having fallen due to the fact that my balance is off because lately I feel like I have the plague.

So, I go to ice it, and not only has Luka been barking at me and doing his cute head-confused-twist thing at my insane tears, but he now runs away with my ice pack! I’m officially hysterical now, which is why it was the PERFECT time for my boyfriend to call.

I answer the phone, sounding like someone has tried to kill me. I explain the story, and he laughs. I almost die via staircase, and the man laughs! RUDE. His solution however is to bring home chinese food, so I’m not sure how mad I can be..I mean, who doesn’t love some good moo shu with a side of tumor-bruise?


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